Taking That Jump - Opening the Etsy Shop

It's official and crazy - my Etsy store is open:



In the next week I'll be adding some more items, which will all be posted onto The Aesthetic of Life Facebook page (go like it!).

While this is super exciting, I'm trying to keep my hopes realistic.  There's no intention of making it huge.  The whole goal is to share my finds with others - my thrift shopping is an obsession, and sometimes I come across something great that I simply can't pass up, but I don't necessarily need in my home.  Enter: The Aesthetic of Life Boutique.

*dances around the house*

Pssst...

Just checking in with a little bit of what I've been up to lately.  My last day at the hospital was Thursday, which turned out to be far less of a hassle than I expected.  Very thankful for that.

Any plans I had for after work and into the weekend were put to the side for a family emergency - it's amazing what time and crushed dreams can do to a person (or people).  Hoping that strength is given to help them get through this.

Next week I have personal deadlines to meet, and I'm incredibly excited to see where this takes me.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Currently, My Eyes Are Loving: Local Craigslist Finds

The Puget Sound area is hard pressed for inexpensive, quality antiques/vintage furniture. It's frustrating to go into an antique shop, find (for example) a silver platter which is simply that - a silver platter. No brand name, no historical significance - yet you're looking at paying $30+ on a tarnished, dented, silver platter. Walk into a Goodwill, find the exact same platter, and you're paying MAYBE $4. I don't get it, and it makes the whole idea of "going antiquing" in the Puget Sound ridiculous. It takes away the thrill of the hunt. Going to an antique store here is pretty much like going to a high end furniture showroom - everything is carefully curated and overpriced so that you don't have to put any effort into it.

Craigslist isn't any better. Looking at furniture listings in other regions of the country, you can find some of the greatest wood furniture for DIRT cheap - maybe the seller doesn't recognize the value of the piece, but really I think certain regions have such a large supply of antique furniture and wares that it can keep up with the demand, which then affects the price (logical, right?).

So when looking through Craigslist for the Seattle/Tacoma area, it's almost embarrassing some of the crap I find on there. $200 for a hunter green leather couch with holes in the seats originally purchased from Big Lots or something. But since it's LEATHER and giant ugly sectional, that makes it worthy of a $200 price tag.

Don't get me wrong, we do have some pretty awesome mid century modern and other older furniture/decor sitting up here in the PNW. For example:



Mid Century Retro Pole Lamp - $75/OBO
This may not be everyone's cup of tea, I think this thing is pretty kick ass.  Polish it up with some Rub'n'Buff European Gold, and you've got yourself a fancy lamp to put in the corner of a home office or living room.  Especially with a glossy black campaign desk and a lucite chair...

Sorry, started drooling a little bit there.




Scandinavian glass-top coffee table - $100
Don't let the orange wood fool you - refinish this baby with a rich dark stain, and you've got yourself a classy and modern coffee table.




Full size white wood bed frame - $80
Not too sure that this is an antique, but it's still adorable. L.O.V.E. the lines, and would probably keep it white. Although, it would look adorable painted in a bright color for a teenagers room.




Slipper Wingback Tufted Chair - $40
If I wasn't so sure that this chair was a little too short for my needs, I'd be picking this chair up now. There's a soft spot in my heart for wingbacks, especially armless ones with tufts.



living room arm chairs - $10
Speaking of wingbacks. I like these because 1 - the wings look proportional. Sometimes a designer can make the wings too large, and the chair looks like Dumbo. 2 - the legs are the more elaborate Victorian style (which doesn't work with my design aesthetic). Seriously, for $10...I might need to pick these up tomorrow night... *contemplates*

Currently, My Ears Love : "Two Weeks" by Grizzly Bear

When it comes to music, I am a super lazy listener.  I heavily rely on Pandora, Songza, and my friend Cameron to help expose me to new music.  Otherwise, I'll just listen to the same No Doubt CD over and over (which I have NO problem with).

Thanks to Pandora and my Death Cab For Cutie station (because they iz my favziez), on random occasions I'd hear this song play, and I would get goosebumps.  There are few moments in your life when a song comes on, and within the first couple seconds, a chill runs through your body, and at that moment you know the song is instantly a forever favorite.



 There's something about the haunting emotion to the song that resonates with me - throughout most of it, the instrumentals are fairly simple, with the drum hitting every couple beats, adding a bit of stress to the song.  Then the chorus comes in - so pretty, so desperate.

Doesn't hurt how awesome it is that the video complements the whimsical sound of the song, too.

*plays it for the billionth time in a week*

Self-Imposed Hiatus

In previous posts regarding fear, embracing, and patience, I spoke heavily about my unhappiness with my work situation, and how it's been affecting my life.  My self-imposed hiatus was in reaction to the unhappiness.  When overwhelmed, I cut out a thing or two in my life.  Usually it's having a social life (I'm so awkward, that socializing on an average day is still a struggle) but this time around it was the blog.  In the background I've been working on personal deadlines on a project, attending more Alt Summit classes, signing up for local classes with bloggers in Seattle, and putting in my two-weeks notice at work.  

Yup!  Quit my job.  Things just seemed to pile up - I was too tired to do anything after work, so laundry never got done, dishes were never cleaned, dinner was lamesauce, and I was too worn out to think or do ANYTHING.  Which, in turn, stressed me out more.  At home I'd be too tired from stressing about work; at work I'd be too tired from stressing about home.  

Last Wednesday morning while putting on my makeup before work, I developed a rather heavy bloody nose.  I sat down for a good 10-15 minutes trying to make it stop, but there was no end in sight.  My phone was dead, so I was logging online to email my boss, and to IM Brian to come take me to the doctor - seeing as how this was the 5th bloody nose I've had since I started the new job in September.  

Then it dawned on me that I was having an anxiety attack - hyperventilating, bloody nose, and with all this, I was terrified to email my boss.  Just the thought of having him have another talk with me about something that he's unhappy with and thinks I should "work on" was unbearable.  So, I checked my nose, saw that it wasn't bleeding as heavy, and I went into work.  The fear of telling my boss I wasn't coming in trumped my concern over my health.

Then, an hour into sitting in my office, the bloody nose came back, along with a migraine.

I IMed Brian, said, "I'm putting in my two-weeks notice tomorrow" and he responded with, "Good.  I want you to be happy again."

While I was very afraid to break the news to my boss, and endure another from him just screaming with how unimpressed he is with me, I can't tell you how much stress has been lifted off my shoulders.  Brian and I have discussed our finances, and with a potential new job in the works, we are going to make this happen.  

I need to do this so I can be myself again.  I've suffered through depression before to recognize the warning signs - lack of energy, disinterest in EVERYTHING, snappy, anti-social, unmotivated, and uninspired.  

It's a terrible way to live, and I don't want to go through it again.  

I need to be the girlfriend Brian needs; I need to give the house he bought for us the love it deserves; I need to be the Nichole my friends want; and I need to focus on being the person I know I am deep inside.  Being in a miserable job for the sole purpose of bringing home a paycheck is only turning me into a shell of a person - and it's pathetic, and boring, and smelly (for so many reasons). 

My last day is the 22nd at 4pm, where I'll go directly to the court house to see one of my twin cousins be married, attend a reception dinner with the family, and then go see a midnight showing of Hunger Games with some of my favorite people.  Beyond that, I don't know what else.

And I'm not worried.  

There are options out there, between the potential new job, and the project I've been working on.  For the first time in forever, I've decided to let go of control over my life (which is futile anyway), and have a sort of faith that things will work out.  

It's as though I've been holding on for dear life to a playground merry-go-round spinning out of control.  It is dizzying, blurs my vision, nauseating, and goes NO WHERE.  No matter how terrible and painful I feel gripping to this spinning wheel, I hold tight, "There's no other option, this is what anyone else would do."

The thought of just letting go suddenly flashes - so what if I land hard and hurt for a little bit?  Eventually the pain will go away, I'll find my footing again, and the spinning is OVER.  No longer am I gripping onto this wheel of unhappiness.  I'm free to go about as I please.  

All I must do is find the courage to trust that this is the right choice.

And I did.  I've let go, and now I'm flying in the air trusting that things will work out.  Despite my past of being a high-strung control freak, I am uncharacteristically optimistic about this choice, and confident that THIS WILL WORK. 

The next couple weeks will be trying, but I have goals for myself, and I have courage to trust that money will be made, bills will be paid, and once again, life will be lived.  No longer existing, but living.

Until I get settled, I may continue this hiatus for a few more weeks - maybe mid-April, so I can spend time working on neglected tasks, resting my body, and just reflecting on my past, and looking forward to my future.

Does Anyone Remember Photobucket?

Back many moons ago, there was Myspace.  It was similar to Facebook, except that if Facebook were graduate school, Myspace would be 6th grade, before everyone really started puberty - catty, filled with drama, hormonal, and just kinda ghetto.  It's strange how one social platform has a completely different atmosphere than another - and I don't miss the social atmosphere of Myspace (it was so gross, I felt like I needed to be checked for an STD after I finally deleted my account 7 years ago).  But one thing I severely miss about Myspace is the ability to use coding to personalize your profile.  At the time, I was very VERY much into web development, so my little profile on Myspizzle was a way to flex my HTML muscle through obnoxious backgrounds and a marque of pictures showing off  "OMG THESE ARE MY MOST FAVORITEST MOVIES EVARRRR!"

So today, while working on how to create repeat patterns on Photoshop (for backgrounds/textiles), I needed a way to see how the image I created worked as a website background.  So, for a quick way to upload and access a picture, I decided to log into my Photobucket account after ignoring it for 3 years.  The account I logged into (the only one I remember the access information for) happened to be the one I used to store photos that would decorate my most mature and classy Myspace profile.  It was a nice stroll through memory lane, and was good for a couple laughs.

There isn't too much of a deeper meaning behind this post (my mind is too full of depression and anxiety to write about anything profound), I decided to share three photos from the bucket that I found amusing at 19, and still enjoy now at 26:

I have to admit though, those two are pretty hilarious, even now.


My mom purchased a new laptop, and I was testing out the webcam feature. Adorable.

There we go, a nice distraction from things on a Sunday night.  The past week or two has been especially difficult for me, combining both my unhappiness with work and being sick.  But, there is hope on the horizon.  Per usual, I'm really hesitant to get too excited about it, because usually when I get my heart filled with joy over a prospect, it ends up not working out.  Then all I end up is a broken wittle heart.  

OH, and, I'm cooking up something awesome to open on March 30.  Brian and I are finishing up some of the prep work on it, so that I can get around to drafting some stuff and getting myself prepared.  Very excited to see where it goes, and if it doesn't go anywhere, I'm still excited that I put on my big girl panties and decided to check off one of my 2012 to-do items!

Hopefully this week I can get my mind back to normal - I haven't wanted to write because I don't have the energy or capacity to find inspiration in much.  Just need to keep reminding myself that this soon shall pass.  

Just had to add one more - oh, I would really hope a Jedi wouldn't use the force to throw a kitty into a wall! <3